No Bad Energy: Minor Expectations for Major Joy
As we gear up for life in Madrid, I know that the next 12 months won’t be all rainbows and roses. To quote Helen Keller "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all." Beyond the plazas and paella, moving will produce its own set of challenges. So, “going with the flow” is a major key, like in most things. In addition to remaining flexible enough to bob and weave with "the flow", I plan to embody the number one lesson I’ve learned from travel: be open.
I only need about 15 min to get ready from hearing about a plan to being 100% down and invested. Like shoes on, in the car, or on my way train type ready. I don’t do that whole millennial yes / maybe thing while waiting for better plans or waiting for people to join in to do what I know I’ll enjoy either way.
Even though I can be ready to roll in an instant, I’m also someone who naturally views new experiences through the lens of my “fun predictor”. For bigger planned trips, I approach with less flexibility and more fun predictions. Sometimes this can be helpful for crafting the maximum fun over time. But, hidden inside of this tendency to pre-determine the potential for joy is a pitfall: EXPECTATIONS (dun dun DUUUUN)
Expectations are the thief of joy because, for me, it can poison my flexibility and color a memory with “well we didn’t get to...” colored glasses. Projecting expectations on new experiences is likely to cause conflict and even resentment for something chosen. Even more than this, it almost guarantees that you’ll miss out because you can't expect what you don’t know exists on the other side.
Before spending 6 months in Spain during college, I built a whole itinerary of expectations trying to live up to what traveling during my semester "should be". After only a few weeks, I had booked Ryanair flights to all the “major” experiences I needed to make my time in Europe worth while. I quickly realized that this was a mistake and I began to learn “How to make the most of my semester abroad...”
1. BE OPEN: (literally and figuratively) As mentioned booking in advance is great to lock in dates and pricing that work best for you but, filling your calendar means you might be opting into your dream vacation while also opting out of drafting an itinerary with friends. Building out space to explore together has its merits. Say yes to things that are yet to be seen by leaving space on your calendar to do so. I ended up canceling my spring break and summer flights after realizing that the trips I thought would be best were far from the coolest things available in Europe. Then, once you have space, commit to saying “Yes” when opportunities for group travel or a night out pops up! Normalize saying yes without seeing things on instagram or knowing the “menu” just go and be open to seeing what’s out there.
2. LOCAL doesn’t mean LIMITED : I had the chance to see every “major city” in Europe and instead I turned that down for chances to explore and experience more of Spain. Basically depth over breadth. Establishing routines locally gave me places and people I connected with consistently. My memories aren’t built on novelty as much as they are build around friendships with people I met in TCC Sevilla. Without digging into Spain I would have visited the Alhambra in Granada, but I would have missed the hot springs in Santa Fe. I might have studied in Sevilla without ever experiencing Triana during a Real Betis victory or without tasting live flamenco at the CarbonerÃa. Try exploring the city you’ve chosen to study in instead of taking a weekend trip. Force yourself to dig in instead of setting your sights on another country; book a flight to another city in your host country or jump on a bus that’ll take you on a day trip through the countryside. It’ll be worth it; I promise.
3. FLY SOLO (sometimes): Getting on my Jason Derulo flow was key to loving life abroad. The truth is that you’re really never alone because if you’re open you’ll likely meet locals and other travelers along the way. Nothing taught me this lesson like my time on ‘El Camino De Santiago’. A group of friends and I were absolutely HOOKED after learning about the trail's history and legend in our Art History course. As the trip got closer and my plans shifted, I realized that if I was going to do this then it might have to be alone. The reason I was comfortable taking this pilgrimage on my own is because I had seen this work for me other times during the semester. My trip to the Plaza de Toros Sevilla and weekly dance classes were both evidence that flying solo doesn’t mean being lonely. So many people are willing to take you under their wing and welcome you into their space. I learned more about the city of Seville and I spoke more Spanish sitting ‘alone’ at events where I was forced to connect with locals. Seeing Leo Messi bank a corner kick from the ninth row of Estadio Camp Nou wouldn’t be a memory I cherish if I had chosen to watch from the nosebleeds with my friends or other fare weather fans. Walking to weekly dance classes and sitting at Charlotte (my favorite coffee shop) broke my study abroad bubble and reminded me why I came in the first place: the people. The other half of the quote “oh the places you go” should be “…oh the people you’ll meet, if you just go alone.”
These are just three lesson I’ve learned along the way and I hope they help you travel well. Other honorable mentions to this list are plan well, and plan to be flexible or spend wisely, you might be buying a memory. I know I’m not the only person with lessons from and for traveling. With that I mind I am launching a podcast series called, BEST trip WORST trip. In the spirit of co-creation and crowdsourcing I’d be honored if you would share some of your advice and experiences in the comments below.
Where did you go and Who went too?
What happened and What did you get to do?
What did this trip teach you about traveling or about yourself?
Watch this teaser for the episode set to drop this Friday for a little inspiration.
Interested in being featured for a future episode: submit your name and story to this link
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